The Big Bang Theory... or my life

As you may or may not know I have a boyfriend. Yes, a real life flesh and blood boy friend. He's a scientist, yet mostly still rooted in the real world, like Leonard on the big bang theory. Now, I'm no Penny (I'm a lot smarter and chubbier), but I do receive gifts like she does.

Check out the bacteria that R gave me to grow. He wrote a message in e coli for me. How weirdly, wonderfully romantic. Bet you've never received a petri dish love note. Just sayin'

TWIMO in Distress

Hey kiddos! Your fearless leader here (okay more like fearful). After a several month hiatus from the game I like to call dating, I'm getting back on the proverbial dating horse and hoping it doesn't kick me off again. As you may or may not know my last adventure in the realm of dating with a so called attorney that claimed his nationality was yes.. get this... Southern ended very maturely (as in me being like, "look buddy, stop being an ass and leading me on. If you're not into this, cool, but tell me so I can move on to the next lame-o, I mean gem we call the male sex) but left me with a giant void in my social life. So naturally when I get depressed about my single facebook status, I take notice of the online dating profiles that I neglect, but still pay a monthly fee for (mainly because I've forgotten to cancel them and they have that damn autopay feature). So I recently decided to update my pictures and verbiage on said profiles and suddenly got tons, okay like 5, hits. Now I find myself going on a date tomorrow night and I'm awash with the terrible emotional turmoil I like to call the first date.

First of all I kinda miss dating, since over the last few months when I go out with friends I always find myself in a conversation saying, "Oh, I went there on a date." It's a great way to explore the city and since I am blessed with being a girl, not having to pay for it. I miss exploring Atlanta. I want a person to do that with. :(

As much as I loved having something to do on my Saturday nights, I also hate how dating brings up every single insecurity I have ever had about myself. Am I too shy, am I reveling to much of my dorkiness or tendency to like things 80  year olds like (note to self: hide the cross stitch), am I too chubby, am I being too judgy of other people, is everyone in this joint looking at me and saying how awkward that date must be, and do my ears stick out too much (damn you David Ayers for telling me I looked like a monkey in 1st grade). Yep, these are the silly things I think about and that sometimes make me cry when anticipating an upcoming date. I think this is also why I can never make it into an actual relationship with these potential dates. It's so much easier to shut down and run away than face the fact that I have a double chin or most likely will never have anything in common with boys. I mean I could really care less if sports EVER existed on this earth.

So here's to another anxiety ridden first date. To the excitement, the dread, and hopefully to it maybe working. I'm going to try very hard this time to take my own advice and push the past aside and seize the day and find the pearl in the slimy bivalve oyster of life.

TWIMO Returns: TWIMO in the City

In the last episode of TWIMO in the City, the young and beautiful TWIMO leader was taking the South by storm, procuring employment and measuring a Gold's Gym with a man relieving himself in front of her and all. On this episode we will find Miss TWIMO still in a job that she isn't super duper thrilled about except when she hears about how others stay at their jobs for 14 hours a day and work weekends. I mean how would she have time to procure a trophy husband (which we will get to at the end of this post) if she worked that many hours. Now to update you on my happenings since my last post. I will do this through a bullet point list, my favorite.

1) I got an iphone. WHOOO 21st century! All I know how to do on it is check facebook and my email.

2) I started watching Mad Men. Gettin me some red lipstick soon. Can we say tart-lette.

3) I discovered the power of the pod (aka ipod) in combating boredom at work.

4) I'm looking for a new apartment in the ATL. Upgrading from glorified Emory dorm to a big girl bachelorette apt. Something in the middle of everything aka one with a drycleaners and fro yo place under it. Can we say heaven...

5) I've been dating a lot of guys as I like to say the date du jour. That's mostly what I wanted to write about. The VERY INTERESTING men I've met on my adventures in the city.

So, as you may or may not know, I'm a serial online dater. I join and I un-join, I join and I un-join. This has been happening for about 3 years now. I've been on lots of dates, but have never really connected with anyone. Now I don't know if this is ME or if it's THEM. I like to think it's them as my mom always said in regards to the popular girls in high school, "They're the ones they'll date. You're the one they'll marry." I don't know if she got that quite right, as I'm single (although mostly by choice). Anyway, I've met a bevy of eligible bachelors, all with funny stories.

Date #1: Was a chef going back to school for his bachelor's in business (admirable), but his truck didn't go in reverse. He had to get to our date early to ensure that he could get a spot that he didn't need to back out of.

Date #2: Super cute and obsessed with crossing things off his bucket list. I mean is 30 the new mid life crisis, because all these 30 year old boys are def. having one. On our next date he wants to go try fugo (blowfish sushi, highly poisonous) to cross it off his list. I'm not sure starting my own bucket list with something that could potentially kill me is a good idea.

Date #3: Asiabamian (aka Asian from Alabama). This date has lasted the longest, although another 30 year old having a crisis. Has taken me lots of cool places though like the ATL zoo and to a hockey game (hockey is not really big in the South I discovered. Wonder why? Too cold maybe?). Was getting too serious for me though, like almost exclusive. Shudder...

Date #4: Happening tonight. Here's to hoping there are stars in my eyes and I can stop this silliness. Knowing me, this will not be the case.

Well fearless TWIMOers I hope that you are embracing the world and getting lots of free dinners like I am :)

The dry spell is over...

Lately your fearless TWIMO leader is overwhelmed with her head spinning at about 400 mph (metaphorically of course. That would just been creepy if it were actually spinning like that), but thank goodness I have TWIMO to help me vent some of my anxieties, so for the next blog post I invite you to sit back, relax, and grab a cup of tea (perhaps with a shot of happiness) as you are transformed into my therapist (don't you wish you got paid $95 an hour to listen to me)....

So as you know I have been unemployed for the last almost 7 months. Well, now that it's 2011 suddenly people are hiring and I don't mean like one lonely firm, but lots of them. One day I had three interviews set up by noon. So as the saying goes, when it rains it pours, which makes Sarah a very wet girl. Anywhoo... out of the various places I've seen there is one I really like and they say that I'm at the top of their list, but they are still interviewing, which makes me nervous, and then I keep getting calls for work that people need immediately! How to I fend things off until I hear? I'm so confused.... And then if I fend them off, what if I don't get the job I want... then I'm back to unemployed. Advice? Love? Anything?

On the other side of my life, the relationship unemployment side (which is partially self inflicted) has also been booming. For instance I have a date tonight. In sticking with my new year's resolution I will try not to be judge-y and complain in my head about various things regarding said date, because obviously this has nothing to do with the said boy awkwardly trying to have a conversation with me, but with my own insecurities. I get it and I'm working on it. So, here's to free dinner and hopefully a nice guy that will be my friend if I don't like him more than that.

Ahhh, I feel better. When can we schedule for next week?

-------beep-------beep----beep-beep-beep

I'm BACKKKKK..... I know you all were scared there for a minute. You thought you'd lost me, but never fear, I would never leave my adoring fans without their TWIMO. So, what's up? What have you all been doing? I decided to write a novel tonight aka use chapter headings to organize the events in my life since we last chatted.

Chapter 1: Momma TWIMO comes to ATL

My mom came last Wednesday so that she could drive back to Ohio with me for a little "be a responsible 25 year old and move out of the parental nest" trip. She came a few days early though, so that we could do some fun ATL things such as eat at Flip Burger Boutique which is this really cool gourmet burger joint (as in Osso Buco Burger, which is what I had) with an awesome interior as in everything is "flipped." That's right. Cheeky. Love it.

Chapter 2: Sarah has her first real interview

So, the raison d'etre for going to Flip was because it was designed by the firm I was going to be interviewing with the next day. Remember how every year on the first day of school your parents would take your picture (oh wait maybe that was just my overly sentimental only child parents). Well I could technically have 20 of these as that is how many first days of school I have had in my 25 year lifetime. Well, the depressing thought came to me that I would no longer have a 1st day of school photo (until my PhD of course), so I made my mom take my first interview photo. In other news the interview went really well and I'm in LOVE with the firm, but alas they are just preparing for the possibility that they might have work and need to hire, so cross your fingers and toes (and whatever other body parts you can cross and please don't share which ones) they get work!

Chapter 3: An oxymoron along I-75

While driving through I believe Kentucky (but it may have been Tennessee (is there really a difference?)) I saw the greatest highway oxymoron of all. A XXX Adult shop with a giant cross in front of it. I mean giant. That's right Porn and God. Who knew those things went together?

Chapter 4: My online heart breaks

I'm sure many of you know I have been trying to get a date, well, I have been very modern about it and used various online dating sites. Now I have not had a ton of luck with this online dating. I get a lot of guys who just don't know how to talk to girls. So I'm perusing the available gents and find one that I not only think is cute, but looks like we have a lot in common as well. Well I e-mailed him (perhaps a little enthusiastically) and wait and wait and wait. Nothing. So I e-mail him again saying "I'm guessing you're not interested, but I thought I'd give you the chance to get to know me again." And he writes back. "I've found someone already. Sorry." (okay he said it a little nicer than that) So I'm crushed. Why can't I find someone (okay someone I actually like)!? What is wrong with me?! All these things go through my head. Basically I'm getting a little frustrated. Dear Male Gender that is cute, slightly nerdy, and may not be obsessed with sports I'm here, I'm awesome, and I might give you a shout out on the Today Show if you want to chat. Okay good. Thanks.

As you can see life is full of the good and the bad and the in between (porn, religion, whoa). We have to take it all in, enjoy it and make the most of it, because the world is our oyster (do you smell that? What is it? Oh, cheese).

The End.

My Prospects are Lookin' Good

Since I'm unemployed I have made a schedule for myself to follow daily as a person once told me my full time job is finding a job, so I work 8 to 5 (or 9 or 10, really when I wake up). It begins each morning with making the daily schedule while I eat breakfast. The morning usually involves making follow up calls to firm's that I have sent things to and leaving messages on their voicemail (btw how many messages is too many? I mean I'm using the philosophy that the squeaky wheel gets the oil, but they may just take me off and put a new wheel on). There may also be some cover letter writing going on. I'm getting so bored writing cover letters that I'm starting to get creative with them, which could be bad. I'm thinking about starting one with Hire Me. I'm Awesome. Thanks. Wouldn't it be funny if that landed me a job?

Then I usually take a lunch break. I tend to give myself 2 hours for this. I mean I'm unemployed WHY NOT? So, yesterday I was craving some sushi, but didn't want to pay a lot for it. So I went to yelp.com (you all should use it) and looked up cheap sushi and found a chain of places called Ru San's which got mixed reviews. Not being a food snob I decided to check it out. I mean they have a $10 all you can eat sushi buffet. That there ladies and gents should have been my first warning.

I arrive at Ru San's and they seat me at the Sushi bar where the sushi artists can stare at me while I eat, which they did. After consuming some dried out, unidentified sushi (I mean even though it was bad I needed to get my $10 worth) and some fried bananas I was getting ready to pay the bill when the oldest sushi master bats his eyes at me and asks my name while the younger sushi sans (I'm totally making this Japanese language stuff up. I hope I'm not offending anyone) giggle (okay they were men, so they didn't exactly giggle). Here's what this guy kinda looked like for those of you who are not visual people:





The older guy then procedes to flirt with me in an old man way and tells me to come back many times. So, at least I can get an old Japanese sushi chef at the world's worst sushi restaurant. I'm feeling really confident about my prospects in the dating world. I wonder if there is a bad Italian restaurant where I could pick up some ragazzi?

Just Wondering... am I the one having all the fun?

I'm wondering if the saying you always want what you can't have is a true statement. For instance, I'm really jealous of all my friends who are in relationships or married, but are they in turn jealous of my swinging single life? I try to think this as I venture into the world of dating now that I live in a big city. I btw am not a fan of going on these first dates. They are stressful and like being on a job interview (which maybe means I haven't found the right person). I'm using this tactic of thinking others are jealous to keep me going though. Wooo I'm the one havin' all the fun.

A random thought to ponder:
I saw an ad for an automatic soap dispenser the other day. It claimed that there are tons of germs living on your current manual soap dispenser and I don't doubt this, but don't you push it when your hands are dirty and not touch it again once your hands are clean negating the need for never touching it at all. I just think the automatic dispenser might be a bit over kill and feeding all of our neurotic OCD behaviors (you know you have them). Thoughts?